One of my current Uni subjects is Intro to Psychology and this week I'm learning about Learning. One thing that's mentioned is a thing called Conditioned Taste Aversion.
"Suppose you want to teach a rat to dislike a certain food, such as prawns. Following the usual procedure, you pair the food (prawns) with drugs that cause nausea or other unpleasant symptoms (toxic event). The rat would then learn to associate the flavour of the food with nausea and leave it alone." (direct quote from my lecture slides)
So I'm thinking if I could get hold of a drug that causes nausea, I could condition myself to not want chocolate, cakes, or any other unhealthy food.
Any suggestions of where I could get such a drug? (this is kind of tongue in cheek, but I do wonder why this treatment isn't used for people like me who have learned to be emotional eaters?)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A new doctor
It's been a while since I blogged last. Maybe that's a sign that life is moving on.
Today I had an appointment with a new GP (I wasn't feeling as supported by my last one as I should have). We had a bit of a getting-to-know-you session and I was quite surprised when I was talking to her about the revelations etc of the last 12 months she actually cried! Even doctors have a life, and feelings and sometimes our lives touch theirs. Needless to say I feel a lot more supported by her.
We talked about about my weight and a motivation to get rid of a lot of it. She actually asked me "what would happen for you to say 'f*** you' to lost some weight?" Ah, it was funny. She's a middle-aged woman of migrant parents (although she might not appreciate that description) and she said the 'f' word was one of the first english words she learned....of course. So now I'm left pondering what makes me angry enough to motivate me?
Today I had an appointment with a new GP (I wasn't feeling as supported by my last one as I should have). We had a bit of a getting-to-know-you session and I was quite surprised when I was talking to her about the revelations etc of the last 12 months she actually cried! Even doctors have a life, and feelings and sometimes our lives touch theirs. Needless to say I feel a lot more supported by her.
We talked about about my weight and a motivation to get rid of a lot of it. She actually asked me "what would happen for you to say 'f*** you' to lost some weight?" Ah, it was funny. She's a middle-aged woman of migrant parents (although she might not appreciate that description) and she said the 'f' word was one of the first english words she learned....of course. So now I'm left pondering what makes me angry enough to motivate me?
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Chocolate Cake vs Roast Beef dinner
Both girls home from school sick today, so we're having a pyjama day. I've tried for years to have a day when I stay in my jamies for the whole day, but I just can't do it! I usually just feel gross and need to have a shower. It's 2:15pm and I'm still in my jamies, so this is probably a record.
I'm watching a bit of tv today and I've seen an ad that I've seen before, and each time my reaction is the same. It's advertising Healthy Choice frozen meals. A woman comes home from work and reaches for a piece of nice, big, chocolate cake in the fridge. A man appears from behind her fridge and tells her to look in the freezer, where she has a heap of Healthy Choice frozen meals, so she grabs one and eats it.
I have to say, if I'm in the mood for a nice, big piece of chocolate cake I am NOT going to be satisfied with a roast beef meal! What are those advertisers thinking?
I'm watching a bit of tv today and I've seen an ad that I've seen before, and each time my reaction is the same. It's advertising Healthy Choice frozen meals. A woman comes home from work and reaches for a piece of nice, big, chocolate cake in the fridge. A man appears from behind her fridge and tells her to look in the freezer, where she has a heap of Healthy Choice frozen meals, so she grabs one and eats it.
I have to say, if I'm in the mood for a nice, big piece of chocolate cake I am NOT going to be satisfied with a roast beef meal! What are those advertisers thinking?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
School Interviews
I had 3-way interviews last night with the girls at school. Instead of a parent-teacher interview they involve the children and they each have a heap of work on the computer that they show you and tell you all about the things they've been learning and what they've had success with. All very warm and fuzzy school of the new millenium stuff!
A couple of things made me laugh during the interviews (and more so afterwards when I was thinking about it). Madame I's teacher (who hasn't been too embracing of the Asperger's thing) said to me "her story writing is quite good, but she really only writes about things that have happened. She needs to be writing creatively - making things up". I actually laughed out loud and suggested that she should have expected this to be the case! She agreed, but I'm not convinced she got the connection. Then she told me that Madame I's resilience has improved a lot during the year. At the beginning of the year if she fell over she would cry quite a bit, but now she's happier to just laugh it off. I suggested to her that this will probably revert back at the start of next year when she has a new teacher, new classmates, new classroom, new everything! Again, she laughed and had a bit of a "I wonder what she's talking about" kind of look on her face. Ah well, we can't all be perfect can we....
Princess S's teacher told me that at the start of the year (and for all of Term 1) she would burst into tears if she had to try something new, and was very emotional. Gee I wish they'd let us know BEFORE TERM 3!!!!!! so that perhaps I could work with my child at home to help build their confidence and 'risk taking' as she called it. Seriously, do they think the kids actually enjoy feeling overwhelmed by everything?!!! I just don't know why something that is so obviously an issue (in that two terms later she's still remembered it) isn't discussed with the parent.
I can see that in the next year or so I might be really tempted to just give up on teachers, and the expectation that they might like to work collaboratively with a parent just for something new. But, for now I'll persevere cos I know they're not all thick, or ignorant! I do know some teachers who are great.
To end on a really nice note, yesterday afternoon we were sitting on a bench outside the chemist waiting for some prescriptions to be made up. We were sitting quietly, just watching the world go by when Madame I says "Mum, I love you". Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather! That doesn't happen too often - I could probably count on one hand the number of times she's ever said it without me saying it first. A very sweet moment.
A couple of things made me laugh during the interviews (and more so afterwards when I was thinking about it). Madame I's teacher (who hasn't been too embracing of the Asperger's thing) said to me "her story writing is quite good, but she really only writes about things that have happened. She needs to be writing creatively - making things up". I actually laughed out loud and suggested that she should have expected this to be the case! She agreed, but I'm not convinced she got the connection. Then she told me that Madame I's resilience has improved a lot during the year. At the beginning of the year if she fell over she would cry quite a bit, but now she's happier to just laugh it off. I suggested to her that this will probably revert back at the start of next year when she has a new teacher, new classmates, new classroom, new everything! Again, she laughed and had a bit of a "I wonder what she's talking about" kind of look on her face. Ah well, we can't all be perfect can we....
Princess S's teacher told me that at the start of the year (and for all of Term 1) she would burst into tears if she had to try something new, and was very emotional. Gee I wish they'd let us know BEFORE TERM 3!!!!!! so that perhaps I could work with my child at home to help build their confidence and 'risk taking' as she called it. Seriously, do they think the kids actually enjoy feeling overwhelmed by everything?!!! I just don't know why something that is so obviously an issue (in that two terms later she's still remembered it) isn't discussed with the parent.
I can see that in the next year or so I might be really tempted to just give up on teachers, and the expectation that they might like to work collaboratively with a parent just for something new. But, for now I'll persevere cos I know they're not all thick, or ignorant! I do know some teachers who are great.
To end on a really nice note, yesterday afternoon we were sitting on a bench outside the chemist waiting for some prescriptions to be made up. We were sitting quietly, just watching the world go by when Madame I says "Mum, I love you". Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather! That doesn't happen too often - I could probably count on one hand the number of times she's ever said it without me saying it first. A very sweet moment.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Father's Day
Well, today is Father's Day. It's always been a bit of an odd, even sad day for me. I usually feel a bit disjointed on Father's Day - like I'm a guest at another family's special gathering, looking on.... and then this year, D's not around either. This is, of course, a good thing for me, but not so much for the girls. He's working this morning so will come and get them after he finishes at about 2pm so it's good that they'll get to see him.
I'm going to try and put in a photo of a montage I did of my Dad and Mum. My sister TE helped me with it when we were at Murray Bridge for my birthday. We used a canvas from a cheap shop, then used a Kaszazz scrapbooking kit for all the paper, vellum and letters. I've also sprayed it with a clear gloss to help protect it.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
and another thing....
Last night after the netball clinic (that's where I was going with this to start with, and I got a bit side-tracked!) Madame I had a bit of a melt-down at home. I don't really know what started it or triggered it but she just got overwhelmed by a lot of things and was yelling at me and Princess S and getting pretty out of control. When she's like this I don't usually handle it very well because I'm human, and I get tired too, and stressed, and yesterday in particular I was feeling one of those 'lonely times' that happen every now and then. So I got grumpy with her and she got worse (of course). Eventually we sat together on the couch and fighting everything inside of me I put my arm around her and told her that I just don't know how to help her sometimes. She started to calm down and went to bed still a bit teary. Then she called me into the bedroom and said "You're the best mum a girl could ask for". Wow! I think she must have read that in a book somewhere....I certainly don't feel that it's true, and it isn't the sort of thing she would normally say. But, it was really lovely to hear it and it helped her to calm down and move on so it's all good!
I think I'm done now ;-)
I think I'm done now ;-)
Turning 40 and new beginnings
My last post I was so distracted by inappropriate flowers that I forgot to say how great my birthday party was! It really was great, and I'm so glad I did it. It was the first time that all my sisters have been together EVER without husbands and kids (well, since my oldest sister left home and she was about 14 or something at the time) so that's about 35 years! I was a little concerned how my sisters and my friends would get along as there are some fairly strong personalities in my family, but it was just great. Everyone got along really well (a bit too well perhaps?!). It was a really relaxing time for me, and I felt very loved and affirmed. I took along my video camera and we had a kind of 'diary room' and most of the girls recorded a message for me. This was just great and I've had a good laugh (and a tear or two) watching that a couple of times. There seems to be a bit of demand for me to turn 40 again next year so we can do it again, so we'll see.
Yesterday I had a rather strange encounter. The girls have started doing a netball clinic with a local club. They're very excited about it, and may play in a summer competition with this club which is just great (quite frankly, anything that gets Princess S moving at anything beyond a walk is worth the money!). I bumped into a girl there who I knew from our CAFS group (I know it's called CYH but CAFS is much easier to say). I haven't seen this girl since Madame I was probably 18months old. Her daughter is doing the clinic as well. [an important note is that I mentioned I'd just turned 40 and she said I didn't look anywhere near 40! just a little ego-stroke] We spent a little bit of time reminiscing about the new mum's group and I was then remembering what I was like then. I had a difficult baby (she was beautiful - my sister TM called her the porcelain princess - but a horror to look after). I couldn't calm her by holding her, I couldn't get her to sleep and even rocking her in my arms I couldn't get her to sleep (all this now makes sense with the Asperger's diagnosis but at the time I had no idea). It was funny cos this friend (who actually had twins at the time, one is a boy) has since had two more children. She commented that 'we had no idea what we were doing did we?!' and she is right. I had no confidence as a mum, and added into the mix was that I think I was depressed and not treated for it for another 2 years or so, and D was at Uni and took the car so I didn't have any transport! Typically self-less of him....NOT. What a mess. When I look back at 'me' then, I feel like I'm a completely different person now. I feel like I now have a sense of who I am, I feel so much more mature and confident about myself and my place in the world.
This actually shocked me, that I'm so much more confident now. Especially considering the last year I would have expected to feel less confident if anything but I don't.
A friend at school said to me last week "turning 40 is a dangerous age for the people around you, cos you just don't give a s**t anymore". We had a good laugh at this, but it is true I think. And then combine turning 40 with leaving a 10-year marriage! Look out world, here I come!
I'm really thankful for the last year - it's actually been 10months since D and I separated. This experience has helped me grow so much, and work out who I am and what I want in life and from life. I'm not sure if I ever really want to be in another relationship. There's always the romantic notions of having someone to share your life with and someone to cuddle (and other benefits as well :-) and someone to share the bills and responsibility. But I am actually quite content most of the time on my own. I like the relationship I have with my girls and not having to share them with anyone else, and not having to be the peace-maker anymore.
So, whatever the future has I think I'm ready for it and looking forward to it. I'm facing the future with a smile on my face.
Yesterday I had a rather strange encounter. The girls have started doing a netball clinic with a local club. They're very excited about it, and may play in a summer competition with this club which is just great (quite frankly, anything that gets Princess S moving at anything beyond a walk is worth the money!). I bumped into a girl there who I knew from our CAFS group (I know it's called CYH but CAFS is much easier to say). I haven't seen this girl since Madame I was probably 18months old. Her daughter is doing the clinic as well. [an important note is that I mentioned I'd just turned 40 and she said I didn't look anywhere near 40! just a little ego-stroke] We spent a little bit of time reminiscing about the new mum's group and I was then remembering what I was like then. I had a difficult baby (she was beautiful - my sister TM called her the porcelain princess - but a horror to look after). I couldn't calm her by holding her, I couldn't get her to sleep and even rocking her in my arms I couldn't get her to sleep (all this now makes sense with the Asperger's diagnosis but at the time I had no idea). It was funny cos this friend (who actually had twins at the time, one is a boy) has since had two more children. She commented that 'we had no idea what we were doing did we?!' and she is right. I had no confidence as a mum, and added into the mix was that I think I was depressed and not treated for it for another 2 years or so, and D was at Uni and took the car so I didn't have any transport! Typically self-less of him....NOT. What a mess. When I look back at 'me' then, I feel like I'm a completely different person now. I feel like I now have a sense of who I am, I feel so much more mature and confident about myself and my place in the world.
This actually shocked me, that I'm so much more confident now. Especially considering the last year I would have expected to feel less confident if anything but I don't.
A friend at school said to me last week "turning 40 is a dangerous age for the people around you, cos you just don't give a s**t anymore". We had a good laugh at this, but it is true I think. And then combine turning 40 with leaving a 10-year marriage! Look out world, here I come!
I'm really thankful for the last year - it's actually been 10months since D and I separated. This experience has helped me grow so much, and work out who I am and what I want in life and from life. I'm not sure if I ever really want to be in another relationship. There's always the romantic notions of having someone to share your life with and someone to cuddle (and other benefits as well :-) and someone to share the bills and responsibility. But I am actually quite content most of the time on my own. I like the relationship I have with my girls and not having to share them with anyone else, and not having to be the peace-maker anymore.
So, whatever the future has I think I'm ready for it and looking forward to it. I'm facing the future with a smile on my face.
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