The Divorce Hearing

I went to court this morning for the divorce hearing. It's quite an intimidating atmosphere. My best friend (BFF) came with me for moral support and D had decided not to attend. As I'd lodged the papers I had to be there, but he didn't. When we walked into the court room there were two other women there with their support people - one had her mum with her, the other had her dad with her. I'm not quite sure how it all started but we actually started making jokes and having a really good laugh with each other. I decided it would be a great place to meet people and get a brief run down of their marriage and write a book about it! It was quite funny. The girl in front said she wished she'd listened to her dad when he told her not to marry the guy. And then she said they had to do 'lessons' with a pastor (it seemed they were not church-attending folk) so they could get married. She said "I guess I should have seen the writing on the wall when, at the end of our lessons, the pastor said to my husband 'I'm sure you're actually not as arrogant and rude as you pretend to be' ". And the other lady said when they were driving into the church grounds on the day of her wedding her dad looked at her and said "we can keep going if you like, and not go in". Ah, hindsight is a wonderful thing. But I do wonder how many marriages start out with people close to either the bride or groom telling them they shouldn't go through with it. I do know of one such marriage and the person, not having the courage to pull out on the day, went through with it and it only lasted a few months.
Anyway, I was expecting to be terrified most of the time this morning, and perhaps a little emotional, but instead I was crying from laughing so much. It was also uncomfortably quiet while we were waiting for the Registrar to come in. BFF whispered to me that it would be a good idea to have music playing, to ease people's nerves. I suggested they could have a juke box, and you could request songs - like the song you danced to at your wedding! Then you could really say goodbye to it!
Another interesting thing that I noted was that there were 10 groups of divorce applicants in the room and only 1 of them was a man! I wonder what that says about men's commitment to their marriages... There was one guy who had lodged an appeal about his divorce but couldn't be there cos he "had to be at work" so they rang him on his mobile so the Registrar could talk to him. He said that he married her 'forever' and still believed they could reconcile and as they married in a church, on religious grounds he didn't accept the divorce! The Registrar was very patient with him for a while, listening to him crap on....then she got pretty impatient with him and said "I have a court room full of people and I need to move on, so what do you want?!" It was funny in a sad kind of way, cos pretty much everyone in the room (I think) was thinking the same thing, "This guy's a nutter, and if he still loves his wife he's obviously not very good at communicating that to her, and besides all that, he's just a dickhead". One of the ladies we'd been laughing with earlier whispered across the aisle to me "sounds like my husband - she (the Registrar) should just hang up on him!" So, for me it was a very sad morning because I am very sad that my marriage has ended, but given the circumstances I'm glad I've been able to end it. But it was also a very funny morning, in a very irreverent way. I think whenever I think about this morning, what I'll remember will be the irreverent jokes and giggling and that's a good thing.
Oh, and the Registrar (who is like a Magistrate) talks to the one filing for divorce about arrangements with the children to make sure it's all ok. She talked to me about Madame I first, but misread her name and used the male variation (with an O at the end instead of an A) and referred to 'him'. I actually corrected her and said "he is a she"....it was another kind of funny moment, and I don't think I'll share that information with Madame I.
So, come January 9th I will legally be single again.

Divorce Hearing

Last night around the tea table I was talking to the girls about the divorce, and that I'm going to a hearing this morning. It started because I told them they need to be ready early for school this morning cos I need to be in town at about 9 for an appointment. Madame I, being ever-curious, asked what the appointment was so I told them. Princess S offers her little bit in a very bright and bubbly voice "Cos it is broken like Humpty Dumpty". Well, I guess she understands that reconciliation isn't on the agenda! It was so nice to laugh with them about it.
That's all for now.