Well, it has been a while, hasn't it?! I guess that means life has been cruising along a bit....and I haven't really had much time to blog.
I'm working now in two jobs, one office job 2 days a week which I love and the other cleaning our church which, to be honest, I don't love but it's pretty easy as far as cleaning jobs go - no bathrooms or toilets! I'm still studying but have dropped back to 1 subject at a time. I finished a Gender subject called Defining Women which I really enjoyed - and got a Distinction for! That's 4 Distinctions, 1 Credit and 1 Pass so far. Not bad! Now I'm doing Statistics in which we use a computer program for all the hard work, so it's all about understanding the figures and knowing how to get them. I really like it, and have grasped the concepts fairly well. I did enjoy maths in high school, so it's good to do something that doesn't require researching and essay writing.
On the home front, I think I realised this morning that I haven't forgiven D (still!) and that I don't actually want good things for him. I am premenstrual (sorry - more info than some of you need) and I know that has some impact on how I feel about things.
I wonder if I'll ever sincerely want good things for him? I resent everything he does, because....I'm not really sure why. Because he's not my husband anymore and I still grieve that, because he couldn't pull himself together for my sake or for the sake of our girls when we were married so why does he do it now?, because sometimes I feel really trapped being a single mum - still haven't been accepted for any new rental properties even though my income is pretty good, I feel like I'm never going to be partnered again because as a single mum I have baggage and am hard work. Most days this stuff doesn't bother me much, but every now and then I feel very alone. I realise how difficult it is to be the only one in the house who can cook tea, do the dishes, do housework, pay the bills, take the kids to school and pick them up, do the shopping. I really miss having another adult to do some of those things sometimes. Experience tells me this will pass, and in another week or so (hopefully) I'll feel refreshed and more positive.
Thank goodness it's Easter and there's a great excuse to eat lots of chocolate!
The girls will be with D for Easter, and I'm staying in Adelaide for the weekend - church still needs to be cleaned! So I've organised a brekkie at a nice hotel on Saturday morning and then a day of geocaching which I'm really looking forward to. (I'm planting some caches especially for it during the week, with the help of a very experienced friend). It'll be nice to be out with friends for the day. If you'd like to come with us drop me a line and I'll give you the details.
Well, that's it for now I think. Some good stuff, some not so good stuff, I guess that's just life!
