Learning to keep my mouth shut (kind of)

Well, now I'm 40. I don't feel any different really (not surprisingly).
D sent me some flowers on my birthday. He had written on the card himself, saying "I miss you and I love you".
So, that was interesting! How is one supposed to react to something like that, when the girls are here with me? They seemed quite happy that Dad had sent me flowers. I actually asked Madame I if she thought it was appropriate for him to do that, and her reply was "Well he still really loves you". Hmmm..... she also commented that he'd sent my favourite flowers, gerberas.
I wanted to throw the flowers in the bin immediately after I read the card, but I thought that would probably confuse the girls a bit. But I didn't feel I could just accept them and have D think that they meant anything to me.
So I sat on it for a couple of days and on Monday (the third day after my birthday) I sent him an email saying that whilst I appreciate the sentiment in sending them, it was just not appropriate and in particular wasn't appropriate to be stating that he misses me and loves me.
He sent one back going to town about it....if he hadn't done anything I would have been upset, and if he did something I'd be upset and he wanted to let me know how he feels. Some of what he wrote follows...
just as you have the right to let me know exactly how you feel, it’s neither fair I feel to demand that I instantly switch off my feelings and emotions after 10 years of marriage.
this is me standing up for myself even in a small way and being honest... saying this is how I feel and I’m not going to deny it... But just as you have to deal with stuff in your way, then I need to be allowed to do the same, and we both have to live with the consequences of decisions etc made by both of us
I've now come to the conclusion that he doesn't have any clue at all of what are socially acceptable ways of dealing with anything. Apparently (as has always been the case with him) it doesn't matter if I'm going to be hurt by something, what is important is that he is able to say what he wants cos that's what he needs to do.
I seriously wonder how on earth I married this guy....but then again, he wasn't like this when I married him. For a while I've been a bit worried that he was like this and I just didn't see it, but my dear sister TE told me the other day that he did change in the last few years so that's a relief.
I just cannot wait until October 22nd when I can file divorce papers.
In the past I would have replied to his email with lots of sarcasm and truth.....but this time I've decided I'm not going to. I'm going to be the bigger person and let it go (once I've ranted and raved about it here first that is!). Last time we did this the emails went back and forth for ages and didn't actually change anything, we just both wrote a lot of fairly hurtful things. As much as I'd like to ring him and abuse him and yell at him, I know that it won't help my journey. So I will let it go. See, it's gone now! lol
I'm thinking that I might go back to my maiden name once the divorce is final. I really don't want to be associated with his surname anymore. The girls will obviously keep his surname and rightly so, they are a part of him but I'm not. Bring on October, that's all I can say.